A new t-shirt that just hit the local Chinese markets has put the China-U.S relations at breaking point. The t-shirt depicts US President Barack Obama as Mao Zedong dressed in a military uniform. China is so concerned that the t-shirt will offend Obama they’ve decided to send a complimentary container ship filled with watermelons and fried chicken. Obama has welcomed the gifts which he has used to help kick start his Windows 7 party at the White house. Obama said “This represents a new chapter for the US and China, I also like the bigger icons, Windows 7 really is rising“.

Obama is currently in Japan to discuss regional security concerns. He is also requesting additional support to halt the production of the “Kung Fu kid” after previous attempts to stop Will Smith have failed.

After 10 long years of boring television viewers to tears, Rove has decided to call it quits. Rove has always enjoyed inflicting his predictable and repetitious attempted humour on the general public. In fact he’s thrived on it. It  has never been about the ratings, the money, or the fame – it has always been about sadism. Ratings are down and the mood on the street has never been better.  Have you noticed a random stranger smile at you while passing in the street? Good chance it’s due to Rove leaving the airwaves.

So what’s next for Rove? Some say a permanent radio gig. Others say he’s working on the 4th phase of the road map for peace in the middle east. We’ll just have to wait and see.

“Don’t stay with XP, you’re bound to get confused, Windows 7 really rules.”

Those are the wise words of Will Smith. No not the Will Smith that spends most of his time butchering your childhood. This is a much smaller, pastier version who enjoys singing. Will appears to be a love child of the actual PC guy from the Apple commercials, brought into this world to defend his father’s honour.

Click the below link to see Will in action.

Will’s Windows 7 Rising

It’s been awfully difficult not to have heard about Tiger Woods landing in Melbourne for a round or two of golf. The hype surrounding is what essentialy a man hitting a ball around and then chasing after it is hard to comprehend.

For those who aren’t aware, Tiger is filthy rich, so rich in fact he hires small children to polish his golf balls all day. I have no issues with this, he’s the mighty Tiger and he can do what he likes. But I have to remind the people that the Australian tax payers forked out 3 million for this guy to turn up and then prance around in plaid pants. According to Wikipedia “he was the highest-paid professional athlete in 2008, having earned an estimated $110 million from winnings and endorsements”.

Tiger Woods might be a golf player, but first and foremost he is nothing but a corporate whore and a sell out. He makes more money than the GDP of a small pacific island and then demands for more. He’s the face of Gillette, he has his own brand of Gatorade, a clothing range, video games and a range of flat pack furniture that would make the Swedish jealous. So before you next tune in to watch Tiger swing his club around like an angry homeless person defending his turf, I want you to ask yourself, is it right he’s stealing people’s wages to feed his Tiger empire? Tiger, you’re a disgrace.

ELDRICK TONT WOODS BE GONE!