Another TV Week Logie Awards has come and gone. Continuing the tradition, here is my review.

Er, no. Actually I’m in Japan, so I didn’t get to see the Logies. But I think I can predict the outcome anyway, as it is always the same.

• If the host was Bert Newton it would have been hilarious. If the host was Shaun Micallef it would have been hilarious, but half of the people watching wouldn’t have got it. Anyone else, and it would have been painful. I’m going for painful. And embarrassing.
• If the host went into the audience to walk amongst them and talk to them at some point, there would have been tears of sadness as the lamest jokes ever were made. You would have been cringing in your seat.
• There would have been lots of international guests and/or acts, because apparently Australia has no music industry of its own.
• At some point, an international music act would have played, and the younger members of the audience would be shown getting up and dancing uncomfortably. An older person such as Rebecca Gibney would also have been shown up dancing with younger “starlets” and looking ridiculous.
• There would have been lots of ads for some hair product or makeup product sponsor – usually spelt with American English. They might even have been involved in some “backstage” ad where some “backstage host” is shown talking to some hair stylist or makeup stylist.
• The night would have gone on far too long, and would have been as boring as bat shit.
• The event would have rated poorly as no one cares anymore.

Leave comments if I was right. :-) And greetings from Japan everyone!