It’s become a tradition at Curmi the Blog to give a review of Australian TV’s “Night of Nights” each year. I’d hate to disappoint, so here it is.
What the Fuck?
I had considered just posting that. But I love a good whinge, so I couldn’t resist posting more. Where the hell do I start?
Let’s face it – Gretel is a crap host. She’s annoying, she speaks down to people, she’s annoying, she’s not funny, she’s annoying. And this year she was sporting a hairdo like a Vulcan. Ok, maybe I take back the fact that she isn’t funny.
I’m not sure if she writes her own material. If she does, the network shouldn’t let her. If she doesn’t, the network needs to fire the comedy team they used. Because there was little that came out of her mouth that was funny throughout the night. But then there was little that came out of anyone’s mouth last night that was funny.
To try and make her more interesting, someone decided it would be good to have her change her dress every couple of ads. Works for me when I have to give a presentation on software development. Here’s a selection of Gretel’s clothing changes. I didn’t include the one where she had cotton wool all over her to make it look like she was stuck in a cloud (that came from a painful sketch involving her falling through heaven).
Wil Anderson once described Gretel as “mutton dressed as hooker”. I’ll say no more.
You know, I’ve been critical each year about the Logies bringing over overseas guests to try and make the night more interesting. I’ve always believed we should be able to stand on our own and celebrate Australian TV. This year we almost did just that.
We had Jessica Mauboy to start off the show. She chose to sing a song that didn’t sound totally like an American pop song with a Black American rap half way through, so that was good. Unfortunately it looked and sounded like she mimed it (I could be wrong though – see below on sync issues).
We had Tom Burlinson – best known for his role in “The Man From Snowy River”. I thought his singing was piss poor, but at least he was another Australian.
It was looking good, but then we got Annie Lennox. I’d like to say she was crap, but I’d have to say she was probably the only good thing the entire night. Go Australia!
I was in pain. The audience looked to be in pain. And then we had The Umbilical Brothers. Mime is generally not funny. It doesn’t get funny just because you add silly sound effects to it. And it doesn’t become comedy gold when you spend 5 minutes adding stupid voiceovers and sound effects to the nominee videos. One minute of that crap would have been enough – I’m betting many people turned over at this point thinking they were watching Australia’s Funniest Home Videos.
Every comedy routine was painful to watch, and I think Matthew Newton said it best when he, after yet another pre-scripted routine failed, turned to the camera and quipped:
Who said Vaudeville’s dead?
If only The Logies were dead.
Out of Sync
Ok, here is my biggest whinge. Watching the presentation on 9HD, the audio and video were out of sync. Only minor sync issues with the live presentation, but whenever there was a pre-recorded segment, the segment was totally out of sync. It was painful to watch, and I know of someone who changed to another station completely because he couldn’t handle it.
Now, it could be my TV tuner (inbuilt Sony HD tuner), but the commercials were in sync, and shows before and after the logies were in sync. So the question is, why can’t Channel 9 get this stuff right? Do they not have someone who watches their stuff on a normal TV so they can tell them when things aren’t working? My guess is that everyone at 9 was watching Borat on Channel 10.
So, I may have been unjust in dismissing Jessica Mauboy as having mimed her song. It could have just been a sync issue. Sorry Jessica.
This is tough. I would say this was the worst Logies I have ever seen, and I’ve seen some shockers. But the highlights were probably:
- Kerry O’Brien sober.
- Don Lane’s son PJ looking quite unhappy when Rove referred to him as “gorgeous”.
- The Cadbury ad during the commercials with the two kids with dancing eyebrows.
Maybe my first comment on this review said it all.